


Love's A Bitch

by sagelynsposie



Category: Motherland: Fort Salem (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:00:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24086251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagelynsposie/pseuds/sagelynsposie
Summary: "Was anything real?” The volume in my voice gets louder with each sentence. “Was anything between us even real to you?” I repeat.
Relationships: Abigail Bellweather/Raelle Collar/Tally Craven, Raelle Collar/Scylla Ramshorn
Comments: 4
Kudos: 123





	Love's A Bitch

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first piece of writing, sorry if it sucks. The last paragraph is the only part I'm actually happy with.

Raelle takes a deep breath as she prepares herself for the one moment she’s been dreading the most since she’s had to face the facts during Citydrop. 

Confronting Scylla and her lies. 

“Scylla is Spree.” That one phrase just ringing in my head over and over again as I walk to the room I know Scylla is being held in. Although I didn’t want to believe it at first, the evidence against the girl just kept piling up and I was forced to stop denying the truth. 

I had somehow managed to convince Anacostia to let me talk to Scylla, but the closer I got to the room, the more anxious I got. I wanted to turn around and run back to my room, but I had too many questions.

As the steel doors slide open, I try to brace myself for the sight I’m about to see. I get hit with a wave of emotions at the thought of finally seeing Scylla again: nervousness, hurt, dread, resentment, even slight affection, but the one thing I’m certain about is that I need answers. 

When I enter the room, Scylla's face lights up and she smiles brightly at me like nothing is wrong in the world. Like everything that happened between us wasn’t all a game to her. The look she gives me is so full of love and adoration that I falter for a second, but then I remember the words Anacostia told me the day before, “She just told you what you wanted to hear.” 

I manage to put on a cold and stoic exterior as I collect myself and Scylla’s face drops at the sight. The smile Raelle fell in love with wiped off Scylla’s face in an instant as she makes eye contact with my hard eyes.

“Raelle-” Scylla tries to start, but I cut her off immediately.

“So was I just a mission to you? Was I just a pawn in your stupid Spree plans?” The anger in my voice is evident as I speak. I walk closer to her, but stop a few feet away. Far enough so that she can’t reach me because I know if she touches me, I might just break under her delicate touch. The same way I did the first time we ever kissed. 

“What? No! Please just let me explain!” She tugs at her chains trying to get closer to me, but I make no effort to help her. 

The light in Scylla’s eyes now dimmed with panic and worry as she realizes the situation at hand. The secrets she had been hiding have finally been revealed to the girl she was willing to risk everything for, even her own life.

“No! You know what, I trusted you! I opened up my heart for the first time since my mother died and you crushed it. You knew I was hesitant to open up. You knew the pain I had gone through. Was  _ anything _ real?” The volume in my voice getting louder with each sentence. 

“Was anything between us even  _ real _ to you?” I repeat.

“You know I love you! You told me you wouldn’t believe everything they said! You said you loved me back! Was that not true? What has changed since the last time you saw me?” 

Her accusatory tone makes me slowly a step towards her as my anger builds.

“I found out you were Spree. I realized you’ve been lying to me this whole time, just using me for them. That everything I fell in love with was a lie. That you were just a coward. Looking at you now, I realize I don’t even know who you are. The girl I fell in love with doesn’t exist and I’ve come to terms with that.” 

She visibly flinches at my words, but at this point I don't care if my words are harsh. She used me and was willing to throw me away the second she was asked to. 

It’s quiet for a moment as Scylla lets Raelle’s painful words sink in. She seems to be searching for the right words to say so she doesn’t make the situation any worse than it already is. She knows she’s in the wrong, but she also knows she can’t do anything to change her past decisions that she had made out of anger, even if she regrets them deeply. The only reason she decided to join the Spree and their cause was because the Army killed her parents, the only family she had. She wanted revenge on the Army for killing the only people she had ever truly loved in her life. That is the only people she ever loved until she met Raelle.

Scylla sighed, looking small and defeated in this moment, “Look it may have started out as something for the Spree, but the more I got to know you, the deeper in I got with you, the more I was drawn to you. I couldn’t resist  _ not _ spending time with you. No matter how  _ hard _ I tried, I just kept falling deeper in love every minute I got to spend with you. I tried to stop it, to not follow through with their plans, but they threatened  _ both _ our lives if I didn’t deliver what they wanted. I couldn’t care less about what they’d do to me, but I couldn’t deal with you getting hurt because of my choices, so I chose to protect you instead by lying. I figured you could hate me all you wanted, but at least you’d still be alive and safe. You have to believe me. I don’t regret the moments I shared with you because those  _ were _ real. I only regret everything bad I did. If I could take it all back just to get another chance to do things the right way with you, I would. Please believe me.” 

Scylla’s face is streaming with tears now, but that doesn’t wash away the doubt Raelle feels. This could all be part of her little game just to get out of her chains and back to the Spree, I think to myself. So I step even closer to Scylla not realizing I'm now within her reach.

“Trust me, I want to believe you really loved me. I want to believe I couldn’t be manipulated so easily by you. That I wasn’t just a toy for you to play with, but I clearly was. Anacostia warned me to stay away from you, she warned me you weren’t right for me, but I didn’t listen because I thought you were different. I thought you were real and honest. I guess I’m just a shitty judge of character.” 

I take a couple deep breaths to calm myself down and look away. I can’t cry in front of her, I can’t let her make me seem weak. _Not_ _again_. _I won’t_. I refuse to let her take anything else away from me. The wounded look in the eyes must give me away though because her eyes soften.

“No matter what I say, you won’t ever believe me will you?” Scylla breaths out as she takes a moment to accept Raelle’s words and slumps back into her chair. 

It’s in this instance, Raelle realizes how broken Scylla appears as she looks at her. Her vision no longer clouded with anger or pain for a second as she stares at the girl. Her clothes are filthy and tattered, her hair is a mess, her face is grimy and a little bloody, her cheeks are tear stained, and her eyes are red and puffy from crying. She can’t help the pang in her heart at seeing her like this, but she pushes it away. 

Scylla is the enemy, she has to remind herself.

“No you broke my trust, so how could I? You say you love me, but everything you have done just points to you wanting to exploit me for the Spree. They say actions speak louder than words Scylla, and your actions make me seem like a damn fool for ever believing anything you ever said. So let me just ask you this one question, why  _ me _ ? Why was I chosen by the Spree? Why am I so important that they sent you to manipulate me?” 

“Because they know you’re special Raelle! Hell the second I met you I knew you were special. You’re way more powerful than you give yourself credit for.” Scylla slowly reaches out to grab my hand and I make no move to stop her, paralyzed at the contact.

When I don't do anything but stare at where our hands are touching, Scylla intertwines our hands. “You’re the strongest person I know,” she adds more softly. 

Those words snap me out of my daze and I can’t help but scoff as I pull my hand away and shrug off her words. The skin where she was just touching burns as if it were on fire, but I remind myself why I came here and manage to look Scylla in the eyes again. 

“Yeah right. You know what, if you’re not gonna give me the information I need, I’ll just leave then.” I turn my back on her and start to walk away, but she speaks up again.

“One day you’ll realize how amazing you truly are Raelle Collar. I don’t care if you forgive me or not because truthfully I deserve all this pain for what I did, but you need to know that you  _ are  _ worthy of love. Don’t let me be the reason you don’t believe in love anymore because I know you’ll use this as an excuse not to. Don’t let me ruin love for you because you deserve to be happy and free…” A moment passes, “even if it’s not with me.”

Tears start forming in my eyes, blurring my vision and I quickly spin around to face her again. 

“DON’T ACT LIKE YOU KNOW ME NOW! Not after all the pain and humiliation you’ve put me through!” Rage taking over once again as I scream at her. 

She just sits there, staring at me slightly dejected. She speaks again as I make a move for the door.

“I love you Raelle,” I pause again facing the door so she can’t see my tears. “With my whole fucking heart. No matter what happens, I love you and I could never not love you.” Scylla adds right as I walk out. When I close the door, I can hear her sobs and my heart hurts knowing the pain we’re causing each other.

Tally and Abigail are standing right outside the room with worried expressions on their faces when I turn around. They take one look at my fragile state and rush to try and comfort me. As soon as they embrace me though, I immediately break down. 

“I love you too,” I whisper to myself as tears flow freely down my face now. I know I shouldn’t. I know she’s a murderer, I know she’s Spree, but I can’t switch off my emotions for her in a day no matter how hard I try. No matter what, she’ll always have a piece of my heart and that’s why I can’t forgive her. She took my heart and shattered it, but I still somehow am in love with her. 

That day at the wedding seemed so long ago, yet those last moments dancing with Scylla are all I can think about when I close my eyes. The feeling of being in her warm, comforting embrace. The feeling of her hand in mine. The way they fit together like a puzzle piece. The electricity I felt throughout my whole body anytime our skin made contact. The way I finally felt whole, like a part of me was missing and I didn’t know it until I met her. I felt so safe and loved for the first time in forever. 

The moment she whispered those three words to me, was one of the best moments of my life. Time seemed to stand still, and it was just us two dancing as the world disappeared around us. 

People say that hate is the opposite of love, but love and hate are just two sides of the same coin. They both remind you that you are passionate, that you care even if you don’t want to. I think that the opposite of love is to feel absolutely nothing at all. That there is nothing left to either love or hate. But unfortunately, I don’t feel nothing for Scylla. She managed to worm her way into my heart and I hate her for that. I hate her  _ because _ I can’t love her.


End file.
